JSIA NEWSLETTER
April 30, 2002

JSIA Grand Opening

I am annoyed to announce the stupid Grand Opening of the lousy JSIA site at: http://www.jonstewart.NET

(This is a ploy to downplay the whole thing so that if you're really disappointed you can't blame me for having gotten your hopes up.)

Not quite everything is up, but many new things are, such as:

-- The completely revamped design and our new philosophy. (We are now terrifyingly maniacal rather than horrifyingly obsessive.)

-- The Fan Files (The F-Files) with collected poetry, fiction, and artwork.

-- The all new Encounters section of The F-Files, by Melly.

-- The completely revamped Jon Stewart Biography, by Dani.

-- The revised and updated Filmography, by Chaney.

-- The all new Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade with estrogeny poetry.

-- The weird and sometimes frightening bios of the Executive Branch members in the About Us pages. (I like to call us The Sexy Six or Jonny's Angels. Why is everybody laughing?)

And after you go through all of that, you can go to the new JSIA Bulletin Board (JBB), which you should have already signed up for, and share your utter disgust with others in the "JSIA & JBB" forum. Then you can spit on the floor and say things like, "Bah!"

A thousand thanks to everyone who helped so much, particularly Nikki, the cabinet, and the senate. They had to read constant e-mails, conduct lots of testing, and deal with a whole lot of pestering from me. And thanks to you, the members, for not quitting, even if you wanted Stewartopia. You can view THAT site at www.stewartopia.com, but I strongly suggest that you avoid going there if you have recently taken any hallucinogens.

As always, the JSIA has grown as the result of a group effort, and I think we have a truly stellar group. [Drunken staggering hug.] I love you guyth! [Annie bursts into tears, falls to floor. Sympathetic JSIA members place her on stained, avacado-striped couch and kindly turn her over onto stomach with head near large bowl.]

Annie