Jon Stewart blue pic

 Jon Stewart Intelligence Agency
    A n   u n o f f i c i a l   f a n   c l u b

We're fighting, apparently, with one of
Xena's web sites. It's a huge battle.

— Jon Stewart on the JSEB




October 27, 2001



No Poetry Today -- I Promise, by Annie-Wan
You Like Who?! What's So Lovable About Jon Stewart, by Tabitha
Jon Events


No Poetry Today -- I Promise
by Annie-Wan

"I will not write a poem today," said Annie-Wan, who slept all day. "I have the measles and the mumps -- a gash, a rash, and purple bumps."

That was written by Shel Silverstein, and I just stole it. It was also the only poem I could recall from memory at the moment, except for Poe's "The Bells," which, if altered for the JSEB, would go something like this: "Oh Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon."

You promise! You lie!
Your writing makes us cry!
If it weren't for Jon events
Then you would surely die.

I promise! I lie!
Yes -- I will surely fry!
You think that you can take me? HA!
I'd like to see you try!

I'm sorry. I had a bad headache today and I'm hepped up on Extra Strength Tylenol. Please enjoy this essay by Tabitha, a brand new senator. This article has been a long time coming, so the lovely aged flavor and rich patina should be a pleasure for your senses. (I have been watching entirely too much Antiques Road Show and Food TV.) Fukui-San!

Annie, President, Jedi Knight, Tae Kwon Do Master, Wrestling Gold Medalist, Weightlifting Champion, Shotgun Fanatic, and All-Around You-Don't-Want-To-Mess-With-Me Lady,


You Like Who?! What's So Lovable About Jon Stewart
by Tabitha


As you can probably tell, I wrote this piece about a month before September 11th. During that time, my Jon Stewart/Daily Show obsession pretty much went on hiatus, as did the show. However when it came back, I discovered something about Jon that I hadn't known about before. The sincerity and emotion he displayed brought me to tears, and now I don't just see him as a sarcastic comedian. I know he's got deep feelings and responds to the news just as everyone else does. It makes me respect and admire him so much more than I did before, even though I didn't think that was possible. But as he's been proving, anything is possible. And the best things come to us when we come together.

* * *

In this day in age, people hear a term like "celebrity obsession," and they instantly get an image of Justin Timberlake, Howie D., or any number of cookie-cutter boy-band clichés. This makes it hard sometimes for people to to understand what's so great about a guy who doesn't fit a mold created by such male vocal groups that so many girls define themselves with and their mastermind management companies. While trying to answer the question "Why do you love Jon Stewart?" which often follows the question "Jon who?!" I think I may have uncovered a few reasons as to why our hearts pound just a little harder when The Daily Show theme song begins to blare through our TV's speakers at night.

Will Smith once said funny and sexy can never exist in the same moment. You can be sexy and then be funny and then switch back to sexy again, but they can't come together simultaneously. This was exactly how my crush began. I was watching an episode of The Daily Show, and for some reason or another, a joke flew right over my head and I didn't laugh. It was in that moment it clicked in my head -- "He is hot!" And from there, it's history. The deep and intelligent eyes, the great hair, the killer smile all give him a sophisticated look that's absolutely irresistible. Not to mention the way he dresses. The Armani suits make you think this is a guy you could actually take to a five-star French restaurant without nagging him to change out of the nacho-cheese stained T-shirt he's been wearing for five straight days. But he can also pull off a casual look like a leather jacket or knit sweater. Ah, so huggable.

He's successful, and not just because he looks great on a magazine cover. There's a brain up there, which is hard to come by in Hollywood. If the whole entertainment thing falls through for some freakish and unforeseen reason, he's got a degree to keep himself from ending up in that dreaded fallen star oblivion.

Oh, and he's funny too. One of the most common traits a girl looks for in a guy? "I want someone who can make me laugh." Yeah, Jon Stewart can do that too. And since much of his humor (e.g., Naked Pictures of Famous People) is based on pop culture and politics, we can relate to it. When he makes a sarcastic remark about a dim political figure or a singer's name change we think, "That's so true! I feel the same way!" etc. He seems like someone who would be tons of fun to watch TV or hang out with, just making fun of the world.

So that's why I think Jon Stewart is so lovable. He's talented, sweet, hilarious, and dashingly handsome. The only pitfalls? Well, for me there's that two-decade age difference and his residence on the other side of the country. Oh, and, um, he's kinda married. But I adore him anyway.

Tabitha J., Senator of Jon's Huggable and Snuggly Knit Sweaters


Jon Events

All times EASTERN unless otherwise noted. Not liable for emotional distress resulting from incorrect listings.

> Jon is in the Entertainment Power issue of Entertainment Weekly. He is named the 93rd most powerful figure in Hollywood. There is also a drawing of him. Thanks to Lori.

> Oct 31, Wed, 11 pm, HBOC -- Dennis Miller -- Jon discusses Hillary's senate campaign. Rerun. Obviously.

> Nov 4, Sun, 8 pm ET/PT, CBS -- Emmy Awards. No information yet on whether Jon is still a presenter. Thanks to Kelly.

> Nov 21, Wed, 8 pm, HBO Plus -- Larry Sanders: The Roast.

> Nov 28, Wed, 8 pm, HBO Plus -- Larry Sanders: Another List.

> Nov 30, Fri, 9 pm -- Jon is performing at Foxwoods Resorts Casino in Mashantucket, CT. Tickets are $27.50 and $38.50. Call 1-800-200-2882 or 860-312-3352 to order. Go to for more information. Thanks to Seporah.

> Jan 25, Fri, 8 pm -- Jon will be performing at the F.M. Kirby Center in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Call Ticketmaster at 570-693-4100 or go to their site. Tickets are $49.50 for Gold Circle (first 10 rows), $39.50, & $29.50. More info will be posted at a later date at the Kirby Center site.

> Mon to Thurs, 10 am, 7 pm, 11 pm, 1:30 am (same night) &
> Fri at 10 am & 7 pm, Comedy Central -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
> See the Late Night TV Page for guests at

Movies currently airing on premium cable:
> Barenaked in America - STARZ channels starting November 5.

> Big Daddy -- Cinemax channels.
> Committed -- FLIX & STARZ channels.

> Office Party -- Cinemax & HBO channels.
> Playing By Heart -- STARZ channels.
> Wishful Thinking -- Showtime channels.

All news contributed by Annie of the SSS unless otherwise noted.
Stewart Supremacist Site:
Join the SSS list for immediate updates and last-minute events.

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