October 27, 2001
Today -- I Promise, by Annie-Wan
You Like Who?! What's So Lovable About Jon Stewart, by Tabitha
Today -- I Promise
will not write a poem today," said Annie-Wan, who slept all day. "I
have the measles and the mumps -- a gash, a rash, and purple bumps."
written by Shel Silverstein, and I just stole it. It was also the only poem
I could recall from memory at the moment, except for Poe's "The Bells,"
which, if altered for the JSEB, would go something like this: "Oh Jon Jon
Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon."
You promise! You lie!
Your writing makes us cry!
If it weren't for Jon events
Then you would surely die.
I promise! I lie!
Yes -- I will surely fry!
You think that you can take me? HA!
I'd like to see you try!
I had a bad headache today and I'm hepped up on Extra Strength Tylenol. Please
enjoy this essay by Tabitha, a brand new senator. This article has been a long
time coming, so the lovely aged flavor and rich patina should be a pleasure
for your senses. (I have been watching entirely too much Antiques Road Show
and Food TV.) Fukui-San!
Jedi Knight, Tae Kwon Do Master, Wrestling Gold Medalist, Weightlifting Champion,
Shotgun Fanatic, and All-Around You-Don't-Want-To-Mess-With-Me Lady,
Who?! What's So Lovable About Jon Stewart
As you can probably tell, I wrote this
piece about a month before September 11th. During that time, my Jon Stewart/Daily
Show obsession pretty much went on hiatus, as did the show. However when it
came back, I discovered something about Jon that I hadn't known about before.
The sincerity and emotion he displayed brought me to tears, and now I don't
just see him as a sarcastic comedian. I know he's got deep feelings and responds
to the news just as everyone else does. It makes me respect and admire him so
much more than I did before, even though I didn't think that was possible. But
as he's been proving, anything is possible. And the best things come to us when
we come together.
* * *
In this day in age, people hear a term
like "celebrity obsession," and they instantly get an image of Justin Timberlake,
Howie D., or any number of cookie-cutter boy-band clichés. This makes
it hard sometimes for people to to understand what's so great about a guy who
doesn't fit a mold created by such male vocal groups that so many girls define
themselves with and their mastermind management companies. While trying to answer
the question "Why do you love Jon Stewart?" which often follows the question
"Jon who?!" I think I may have uncovered a few reasons as to why our hearts
pound just a little harder when The Daily Show theme song begins to blare through
our TV's speakers at night.
Will Smith once said funny and sexy
can never exist in the same moment. You can be sexy and then be funny and then
switch back to sexy again, but they can't come together simultaneously. This
was exactly how my crush began. I was watching an episode of The Daily Show,
and for some reason or another, a joke flew right over my head and I didn't
laugh. It was in that moment it clicked in my head -- "He is hot!" And from
there, it's history. The deep and intelligent eyes, the great hair, the killer
smile all give him a sophisticated look that's absolutely irresistible. Not
to mention the way he dresses. The Armani suits make you think this is a guy
you could actually take to a five-star French restaurant without nagging him
to change out of the nacho-cheese stained T-shirt he's been wearing for five
straight days. But he can also pull off a casual look like a leather jacket
or knit sweater. Ah, so huggable.
He's successful, and not just because
he looks great on a magazine cover. There's a brain up there, which is hard
to come by in Hollywood. If the whole entertainment thing falls through for
some freakish and unforeseen reason, he's got a degree to keep himself from
ending up in that dreaded fallen star oblivion.
Oh, and he's funny too. One of the
most common traits a girl looks for in a guy? "I want someone who can make me
laugh." Yeah, Jon Stewart can do that too. And since much of his humor (e.g.,
Naked Pictures of Famous People) is based on pop culture and politics, we can
relate to it. When he makes a sarcastic remark about a dim political figure
or a singer's name change we think, "That's so true! I feel the same way!"
etc. He seems like someone who would be tons of fun to watch TV or hang out
with, just making fun of the world.
So that's why I think Jon Stewart is
so lovable. He's talented, sweet, hilarious, and dashingly handsome. The only
pitfalls? Well, for me there's that two-decade age difference and his residence
on the other side of the country. Oh, and, um, he's kinda married. But I adore
Tabitha J., Senator of Jon's Huggable
and Snuggly Knit Sweaters
EASTERN unless otherwise noted. Not liable for emotional distress resulting
from incorrect listings.
is in the Entertainment Power issue of Entertainment Weekly. He is named the
93rd most powerful figure in Hollywood. There is also a drawing of him. Thanks
31, Wed, 11 pm, HBOC -- Dennis Miller -- Jon discusses Hillary's senate campaign.
4, Sun, 8 pm ET/PT, CBS -- Emmy Awards. No information yet on whether Jon is
still a presenter. Thanks to Kelly.
> Nov 21,
Wed, 8 pm, HBO Plus -- Larry Sanders: The Roast.
> Nov 28,
Wed, 8 pm, HBO Plus -- Larry Sanders: Another List.
30, Fri, 9 pm -- Jon is performing at Foxwoods Resorts Casino in Mashantucket,
CT. Tickets are $27.50 and $38.50. Call 1-800-200-2882 or 860-312-3352 to order.
Go to www.foxwoods.com for more information. Thanks to Seporah.
25, Fri, 8 pm -- Jon will be performing at the F.M. Kirby Center in Wilkes-Barre,
Pennsylvania. Call Ticketmaster at 570-693-4100 or go to their site. Tickets
are $49.50 for Gold Circle (first 10 rows), $39.50, & $29.50. More info
will be posted at a later date at the Kirby Center site.
> Mon to
Thurs, 10 am, 7 pm, 11 pm, 1:30 am (same night) &
> Fri at 10 am & 7 pm, Comedy Central -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
> See the Late Night TV Page for guests at http://www.interbridge.com/lineups.html#DS
currently airing on premium cable:
> Barenaked in America - STARZ channels starting November 5.
> Big Daddy -- Cinemax channels.
> Committed -- FLIX & STARZ channels.
> Office Party -- Cinemax & HBO channels.
> Playing By Heart -- STARZ channels.
> Wishful Thinking -- Showtime channels.
All news contributed
by Annie of the SSS unless otherwise noted.
Stewart Supremacist Site: http://home.earthlink.net/~jonstewart/
Join the SSS list for immediate updates and last-minute events.