Jon Stewart blue pic

 Jon Stewart Intelligence Agency
    A n   u n o f f i c i a l   f a n   c l u b

We're fighting, apparently, with one of
Xena's web sites. It's a huge battle.

— Jon Stewart on the JSEB




June 23, 2001




Your Responses, by Annie-Wan
Commoneo Accipio Apparatus, by Nikki
Calling Larry King, by Chaney
Jon Events


Your Responses
by Annie-Wan

Well, it's been a few weeks since my plea for feedback. The responses I got varied from "You're okay" to "You're great." Fortunately, no one said, "You suck" or "Blow it our your ass, Jon-girl." Beever loved the Jon events, Ellen said that naked pictures of Jon Stewart would definitely wet HER whistle, and Elise accused me of being on crack -- but in a good way. ("Is it [the newsletter] annoying? Are you on CRACK?") Tristan suggested that I try to attract more male members, and when I mentioned starting a Jon Stewart Testosterone Brigade, he responded, "I can guarantee you most men would be extremely frightened by that." (Note: We've been open to male members for a long time; it's just hard to tell sometimes.)

My favorite e-mail came from Erin, who, out of the blue, sent a very surreal and unrelated e-mail with the subject line, "Jon Stewart As an Aid to Parenting":

        "A few Sundays ago, I was sitting in the living room with my mom and my little annoying brother, watching 'The Critic' on Comedy Central. He and I kept fighting, and she kept asking us to stop. I had my hand raised to strike yet another blow, and suddenly the enchanting and illustrious Jon Stewart appeared on a commercial and yelled 'DON'T DO THAT!' I wept. Jon yelled at me. :(
        Sorry. This was random and I am immeasurably bored. :P"

Surprisingly, no one wrote to say that they hated my poetry, though in all fairness, no one wrote to say they liked my poetry either. This leads me to one unmistakable conclusion -- my poetry KICKS ASS! Nobel Prize, here I come!

When it comes to rhyming,
Lyrics, or verse
Annie's lousy timing
Can come off quite terse.

Will I read her writing?
No thank you, I'll pass.
Her language is biting --
TWICE she used the word "ass"!

(Three times now, actually.)

I'm still (always) open to suggestions and comments. Just hit the reply button.

Next week: Free form poetry! (Kidding.) (Maybe.)

Annie-Wan, President


Commoneo Accipio Apparatus
by Nikki

I just spent two days adding to and redoing the picture galleries for you people. Now go look at them, damnit.

Nikki, Webmaster/Dryer Lint Inspector


Calling Larry King
by Chaney

As you know, Jon was on Larry King this past week talking with Larry and answering calls. I, feeling I had a good question, called the show until I got in about 16 minutes into the show (don't you love that little redial button?). They said that someone else had my question and they cut me off. Well, disappointed and in tears, I complained to my Mom and got back on that phone. Two more questions and yet more rejection.

When they start taking calls on the air I gave up. I felt like I blew it. I had a chance to get on (since they answered my calls) but felt like a failure since my questions weren't what they expected.

You guys all saw the show. Was it just me who thought the questions on air were, um, lame? Regarding one of the questions, Jon even said he didn't like it. Did anybody else get rejected? If so, I hope this makes you feel better. If you got on the show this time or last time he was on, I am jealous. Well, I feel better for sharing with you all. I hope you write to the list with your stories and suggestions to improve the newsletter.

Chaney, Webmaster/Treasurer of Insanity


Jon Events

All times Central. Not liable for emotional distress resulting from incorrect listings.

Jon is officially changing his name from Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz to Jon Stewart. (I know -- I thought he would have done by now too.) Thanks to Dani. A short article is at:

Jon is on the cover of (and inside of) Esquire. Thanks to Hayley.

• June 25?, Mon, syndicated (check local listings) -- Rosie: Jon Stewart and Kyle MacLachlan. This originally aired June 19, so it may not necessarily reair in your area.

• June 26, Tues, 4:45 pm, HBO Comedy, &
• June 29, Fri, 8:45 pm, HBO Comedy, &
• July 1, Sun, 10:30 am & 1:30 pm, MOMAX, &
• July 3, Tues, 5:45 am & 8:45 am, MOMAX -- Office Party. This is a thirteen minute comic film about a group of office workers who are fretting about facing the music the day after their wild doings at an office party. With Tate Donovan, Ralph Macchio, Carol Kane, Clea Lewis, and Jon Stewart. Thanks to Lisa and Brigid.

• July 2, Mon, 10 pm, HBO Comedy -- Dennis Miller: Bad habits and destructive tendencies.

• July 4, Wed, 9 pm, MTV -- MTV's 20th Anniversary: Laugh Track: 20 Years of Comedy.

July 12 - 22, Montreal -- Jon will performing at the Just For Laughs festival. Click here for more info. Thanks to Angela.

Sept 8, Sat -- Jon will be in Chicago for the Green Tie Ball at A. Finkl & Sons, 2011 N. Southport. The event features music in three tents, hors d'oeuvres, open bar and live and silent auctions. Call 800-965-4827 or click here for more info. Comedy by Jon Stewart, music by the B-52s. Tickets are $350. Thanks to Tamara, Brigid, and Shalini.

• Mon to Thurs, 9 am, 6 pm, 10 pm, 12:30 am (same night) &
• Fri at 9 am & 6 pm, Comedy Central -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
• See the Late Night TV Page for guests at

Movies currently airing on television (check local listings for times):
• Big Daddy -- Cinemax and HBO channels.
  (Making of Big Daddy is also airing on HBO channels.)
• Committed -- STARZ channels.
• The Faculty -- Showtime channels and The Movie Channels.
• Mixed Nuts -- Showtime channels.
• Playing By Heart -- STARZ channels
• Wishful Thinking -- The Movie Channel, Showtime channels.

All news contributed by Annie of the SSS unless otherwise noted.
Stewart Supremacist Site:
Join the SSS list for immediate updates and last-minute events.

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