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 Jon Stewart Intelligence Agency
    A n   u n o f f i c i a l   f a n   c l u b

We're fighting, apparently, with one of
Xena's web sites. It's a huge battle.

— Jon Stewart on the JSEB




April 09, 2001




Where Have We Been?, by Annie-Wan
Grammy Quotes
Jon Events


Where Have We Been?
by Annie-Wan

Easy -- we've been busy. We are, for instance, working on a news page that anyone can update. As for the newsletter, you can help. If just five of the 381 of you (that's right, there are 381 of you -- woo hoo!) were to, say, oh, submit something, we would be sending the newsletter out more regularly, now wouldn't we? If half of you sent something, we'd have a regular novel!

I guess it doesn't help that Jon hasn't exactly been filling the airwaves of late. He wasn't even on TDS last week! I don't know what you were doing, but I was in bed, under the covers, crying, "Oh Jon! Where art thou!" Or something like that. I don't really remember. It's not that I don't enjoy the correspondents -- I do. But they are so deeply caricatured that their attempts to do regular interviews are creepy. Mo Rocca is particularly hard to view as a normal guy. He rarely breaks out of character. Of all the correspondents, he has made the fewest bloopers, thus giving us few insights into his humbler character.

Comparing the guest hosts to Jon gives you a sense of why the show is so much more successful with Jon than it was with Craig. Jon is a normal guy. No matter how mean the material, no matter how snide the story, no matter how tasteless the topic, Jon's nice-guy image permeates the program with a "Hey, we're just kidding" aura that saves the show from cruelty. It doesn't take long before cruel people have the tables turned on them -- but Jon prevents that from happening. He tempers it with his self-deprecating style. What could be a mire of unabashed spite instead becomes a wonderfully sharp satire of the news. How I love Jon (don't we all?). It's no wonder that the show won the prestigious Peabody award. Our most heartfelt congratulations to Jon and TDS.

Well, enough of my useless musings. If you were unfortunate enough to miss the Grammy Awards, there is a list of quotes from the show and from a couple interviews about the event in this month's newsletter. Enjoy.

Annie-Wan, President


Grammy Quotes

-- I thought those two guys really vibed on each other. They seem to have a very respectful relationship. It felt really sincere. "I respect you, you respect me." And I'm not usually a big fan of sincerity. -- On eminem and Elton John at the Grammys,, Feb. 2001.

-- Q: When did you learn you'd be hosting the big show?
A: What time is it? The thing is, I hadn't checked my messages. And there must have been something wrong with my e-mail. When I clicked on AOL, it said, "You've Got No Time to Rehearse." They actually approached me for the first time two/three weeks ago, but they had two other people that had to say "no" first. -- L.A. Times, Feb. 2001.

-- Q: Any idea who those [other possible hosts] were?
A: I'm assuming it was the usual people that you would go to. Once Whoopi got ill, I imagine the first call went out to Mr. T. and from there the rest of the "A-Team." Then they went to the CBS family, but [Angela] Lansbury, I'm sure, said, "After what happened with 'Murder, She Wrote,' I'm out." -- LA Times, Feb. 2001.

-- Me, I'm 38 and could very much bare my midriff, but it may make some people nauseous. -- LA Times, Feb. 2001.

-- Q: Since we're on the subject of fashion, it's been a year since Jennifer Lopez wore that famous green dress to the 2000 Grammys. What will you be wearing?
A: The same thing Jennifer wore -- but made out of my own back hair. -- LA Times, Feb. 2001.

-- I will not be speaking. No one's ever done it in pantomime before. Mummenschanz all the way. Just watch out, it's going to be crazy! -- On how Jon will host the Grammy Awards, LA Times, Feb. 2001.

-- You opening up a new IHOP restaurant? I'll be there. -- On what jobs he'll accept if asked, Associated Press, Feb. 21, 2001.

-- I'm doing it because, quite frankly, when they blow through so many big show business names to get to you, they're so distraught you feel like you're on a suicide hot line. -- On why he accepted the Grammy hosting job, Associated Press, Feb. 21, 2001.

-- I know what I DON'T do to get ready. They've locked my hotel minibar and they won't let me in it. And I told them I just want the Toblerone candy. I don't want the little bottles of (liquor). -- On what he's doing to prepare for the Grammys, Associated Press, Feb. 21, 2001.

-- I don't know what all the controversy is about, quite frankly. I've met Eminem, I met him backstage, and he's really gay. -- Grammy Awards, Feb 21, 2001.

-- Do you guys think they work out? -- On Destiny's Child, Grammy Awards, Feb 21, 2001.

-- I feel your scorn and I accept it. -- Grammy Awards, Feb 21, 2001.

-- I probably owe you guys, like, five bucks. -- On downloading music from Napster, Grammy Awards, Feb 21, 2001.

-- 'Cause we all know D flat would suck. -- On Mark Andre Kremlin's performance of Chopin's Etude in C Major, Grammy Awards, Feb 21, 2001.


Jon Events

All times Central.
Note that times may be inaccurate due to time change!

Apr 10, Tues, 11:30 am & 5:30 pm, A&E -- Newsradio: "Twins."

APR 12, Thurs, 5:15 am & 8:15 am, HBO, &
APR 13, Fri, 4:35 pm, 7:35 pm, HBOZ, &
APR 15, Sun, 10:46 pm, HBOZ, &
APR 16, Mon, 8:35 am & 11:35 am, HBOZ, &
APR 16, Mon, 4:46 pm & 7:45 pm, HBO &
APR 17, Tues, 9:30 pm, HBOZ -- Making of Big Daddy. 15 min.

APR 13, Fri, 11 pm,
APR 18, Wed, 10 pm, MTV -- MTV's 20th Anniversary: 20 Most Outrageous Moments.

APR 14, Sat, 5 am, MTV -- TRL Uncensored.

APR 19, Thurs, 1 am, MTV -- MTV F-Ups.

APR 22, Sun, 1 pm, Comedy Central -- Comics Come Home.

APR 25, Wed, 7 pm, Comedy Central -- Amercing Comedy Awards. I have no idea if Jon will be there, but he is nominated for Funniest Male Performer in a Television Special.

April, TBA, CBS -- 60 Minutes: Profile of Jon Stewart. (Tentative.)

• Mon to Thurs, 9 am, 6 pm, 10 pm, 12:30 am (same night) &
• Fri at 9 am & 6 pm, Comedy Central -- The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Movies currently airing on television (check local listings for times):
• Big Daddy -- Cinemax and HBO channels.
  (Making of Big Daddy is also airing on HBO channels.)
• The Faculty -- Showtime channels and The Movie Channels.
• Mixed Nuts -- FLIX and Showtime channels.
• Playing By Heart -- STARZ, ENCORE, & LOVE channels.
• Wishful Thinking -- The Movie Channel, Showtime channels.

All news contributed by Annie of the SSS unless otherwise noted.
Stewart Supremacist Site:
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