Jon Stewart blue pic
 

 Jon Stewart Intelligence Agency
    A n   u n o f f i c i a l   f a n   c l u b

We're fighting, apparently, with one of
Xena's web sites. It's a huge battle.

— Jon Stewart on the JSEB

 


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JSEB NEWSLETTER
September 2000

===============

Contents:

We're Back! by Annie-Wan
To the Anguished Masses by Allison
If Only the Real Election Were This Funny by Krissy
The JSEB's Jon Stewart Super Site Selection by Krissy

===============

We're Back!
by Annie-Wan

It all started when Rebecca, creator and president of the JSEB, pulled off her her gloves and smacked me in the face with them. I could not, nay, would not, refuse the challenge. We unsheathed our swords and battled in the glorious navy blue of the August dusk. After an hour-long clash, I plunged my sword into her beating heart with a fierce animal cry. I lifted my blood-drenched blade to the starry sky and screamed a primal victory cry. I, at last, had defeated the great Miss Rebecca to ascend to the presidency of the great Jon Stewart Estrogen Brigade!!!

Or . . . Rebecca e-mailed me and asked me to take over. Either way, it makes a great story.

Many of you already know me as the webmaster of the Jon Stewart Supremacist Site (SSS). Others know me as the last officer to join the JSEB as Annie-Wan Kenobe (see last newsletter here). Everyone is still here. Manda, the magnificent webmaster of the JSEB site, is still the magnificent webmaster of the JSEB site (still in construction -- but coming back soon!). Except for Rebecca, who will ascended to the great JSEB cloud in the sky, descending to only occassionally grace us with her angelic presence, the officers have been moved out of the boardroom and into the JSEB Cabinet. Allison, our newsletter mainstay, will still be handling most of the main newsletter duties. She is now Secretary of Brainwashing. Krissy is now Secretary of Odds and Ends. She will do everything I order, er, uh, ask her to do.

As Allison says, this is chapter three of the JSEB. I sincerely hope that with your help, we continue to grow and make this the best chapter yet.

Annie, JSEB President
anniejs@earthlink.net

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To the Anguished Masses
by Allison

Dear JSEB Members,

Long time no chat, is it not? I'm sorry to report that the JSEB has gone through some difficult times the past few months, but we have not purposely neglected you in the least -- it was quite an unfortunate occurrence. It's all come to a head now. The old JSEB server shut down, and our President, Miss Becca, resigned. I'm still here (that's right . . . try to suppress your excitement . . . or is that disappointment I detect?). Nonetheless, Annie has graciously promised to keep the JSEB memories alive, and we will soon have a new home for the site. Cheers to that!

This is to be the third chapter in the JSEB's history. The first was when it began with a few members. The second was when I took over the newsletter in May of 1999 as the 17th member and we began doing some more advertising. I am proud to say that at this point (at the close of the second chapter . . . oh how I love those analogies!), we have over 300 members. Tremendous! And this right now (for those of you keeping up -- the "Third Chapter") is our new time to grow and prosper once again!

On a personal note about the Newsletter, many of you devoted members sent me articles, pictures, and sounds for what would have been out best Newsletter yet, I am sure. However, my computer crashed while I was putting it together, and it was all lost (though that Newsletter was probably not going to be sent out at that time anyway). At any rate, to those of you who sent me things (that apparently only I have been able to enjoy at this point), thank you, thank you, kudos, and my sincerest apologies on behalf of myself and my computer (blasted gray box that it is). And if you would be so gracious, if you could resend those thoughts and files, perhaps they can be incorporated in later editions. We'll just have to see what flies and roll with it!

Fans of Jon Stewart are a special breed of people who are truly tops! Feel free to contact me any time. I wish you all the best -- stay mad for it!

Allison, Secretary of Brainwashing
Lanark1440@aol.com

===============

If Only the Real Election Were This Funny
by Krissy

With the presidential election in full swing, who can turn on the television without seeing a campaign commercial? Well, if you're watching Comedy Central (if you're reading this, you damn well better be watching Comedy Central), you've seen a whole new twist to the election ads. That's right -- vote Stewart.

No, Jon's not running for president, we'll leave that job to candidate Doty. He's running for Anchor. That's right, anchor. Who is he running against? I don't know. When is the election? Beats me. Why do I care? Because it's funny as hell.

Not only are there campaign commercials, but there's a web site. That's right, a web site. Just go to JonStewart2000.com to catch all the humor the real election is lacking. With a whole bunch of RealPlayer videos, you can find out about Jon's fake family and find out the answer to the question "Why does he lie?"

Now, hopefully, you have a better computer than I do and will be able to actually watch these videos. I apologize for not being able to tell you how hilarious they really are, but my computer is possessed by the gods of "pissing-Kristin-off-olicism." The only thing it lets me watch is the clip of "little George W." Either way, I know they have to be hilarious; I would never expect less from The Daily Show crew.

Krissy, Secretary of Odds & Ends
JCreporter@aol.com

===============

The JSEB's Jon Stewart Super Site Selection

A little praise to our fellow Jon fans, well, one in particular. This time around we honor Nikki, owner and almighty ruler of The Jon Stewart Archives (at www.jonstewart.net). And what does Nikki's site have that others don't? Humor that would make our Daily Show folks proud. Just click on the biography link and you'll be sure to get a good laugh . . . but don't go there if you want real facts. I had no idea Jon was a sex slave for King Arthur, nor did I know that he was kidnapped by Donald Trump. Who knew? Nikki did.

Aside from the humor, Nikki's site is chock full of good Jon Stewart odds and ends. From a neatly catalogued photo gallery to articles and MP3s, Nikki's site has everything a Jon fan could want. What, do you ask, is there to do after reading all the articles, viewing all the pictures, and listening to all the MP3s? A message board of course! Post amongst those you feel most comfortable around -- your fellow Daily Show junkees.

There you have it, my pick for this issue's featured site -- The Jon Stewart Archives.

Krissy, Secretary of Odds & Ends
JCreporter@aol.com


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