Every actor and actress has their own special style...

Jon's Fall Fashion Tips...

 You probably didn't know, but Jon is responsible for the majority of those fashion statements which we copy and reproduce across the US and Canada like bunnies in heat.  But even as we watch Jon pack up his delightfully carefree summer fashions; his capri pants, platform shoes and assorted tank tops, we are comforted by this introduction to Jon's Fall wardrobe secrets.

The Do's and Dont's of Jon's Fall Wardrobe:

1.) Colors: (Or, "Pink: It's the New... Pink!")
Do's-  When Jon came out to "People" magazine intending to wear a dress in his photo shoot, the fashion world was distraught.  "What the ^&%$?" was the first though of many top designers.  But when the magazine was published, they rushed back to change their fall lines.  Thanks to Jon, pink is in.  So wear pink, people.  Pink shirts, pink socks...  Remember, pink isn't gay anymore- that's purple. [Image]

Dont's-  There is one thing my mother told me that I still remember, "Never ever put tacky lawn ornament up, especially those hideous flamingos." (Well, that and "You can eat all the pie you want while watching, 'An Affair To Remember.'")  And if you can't put them in your yard, you sure as hell shouldn't wear them.  Although we aren't quite sure how you'd go about doing that anyway.

2.) Accessories: (Or, "Handbags Out, Women In")
[Image]

Do's-  Jon's remarkable fashion sense is proved once again with this new men's accessory.  Why haul around a briefcase or wallet when you can carry a woman who's bound to have a purse?  In the picture you can also witness Jon's superb taste in color; his tie doesn't clash with Gillian Anderson's gorgeous auburn hair. Kudos to you, Jon!

Dont's-  Although David Duchovny, in the photo above, followed Jon's first fall fashion tip, (Pink: It's the New... Pink.), he didn't realise that being carried by your co-star was so last year.  Plus, we aren't in the Stone Age anymore, so put on some shoes, Girlfriend!  

3.) Hats (Or, "Not Just for Pimps Anymore")
Do's-  The recipe for the perfect casual attire
  • Three cups of professor
  • A pound bird watcher
  • Pinch of preppiness
  • One geeky bowtie
  • A pimp hat, to taste

Jon has mastered the look of a refined gentleman that may be watching birds, an opera or maybe even his favorite Ho from a distance.  Perfect for that special photo shoot, or even just cruising around in your cadillac, Jon has yet again set the standard for quality.

[Image]

Dont's-  Although we can all appreciate the significance of this feather bonnet hat, which can be found in the Canadian War Museum, it certainly doesn't scream, "Wear me!."  Worn as part of full dress by kilted Highland units since the mid-1800s, it is made of ostrich plumes mounted on a wire framework.  This raises two questions, 1.)  Did the Canadians fight so many wars they need a Museum? and 2.)  Where did they get an ostrich?

      That's all for Jon's fashion tips.  It was all meant in fun, and I apologise to the Canadians...  One of my best friend's is Canadian, really.  I'm feeling chatty, e-mail me and we'll talk at KnkySalmon@aol.com.

~Miss Rebecca