Jon Stewart blue pic

 Jon Stewart Intelligence Agency
    A n   u n o f f i c i a l   f a n   c l u b

We're fighting, apparently, with one of
Xena's web sites. It's a huge battle.

— Jon Stewart on the JSEB




The Fan Files
 Annie's Craptacular Collection


My poetry does not deserve its own section. I didn't realize this until I had gathered up all the poems and saw how their crappiness magnified when assembled in one place. Despite the lameness of this section, I'm keeping it up. If I cared about how lame I was, I wouldn't have written these to begin with.

October 27, 2001

"I will not write a poem today," said Annie-Wan, who slept all day. "I have the measles and the mumps -- a gash, a rash, and purple bumps."

That was written by Shel Silverstein, and I just stole it. It was also the only poem I could recall from memory at the moment, except for Poe's "The Bells," which, if altered for the JSEB, would go something like this: "Oh Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon."

You promise! You lie!
Your writing makes us cry!
If it weren't for Jon events
Then you would surely die.

I promise! I lie!
Yes -- I will surely fry!
You think that you can take me? HA!
I'd like to see you try!

June 23, 2001

When it comes to rhyming,
Lyrics, or verse
Annie's lousy timing
Can come off quite terse.

Will I read her writing?
No thank you, I'll pass.
Her language is biting --
TWICE she used the word "ass"!

(Three times now, actually.)

April 21, 2001

Fire up the VCRs
and send the kids aloft.
Tune in to CBS Sunday night
for 60 Minutes with Steve Kroft.

April 21, 2001

How kind of Annie to write
with the latest news about Jon.
Her dedication and might
make me weep 'til I water my lawn.
The JSEB has found a new site
I must see it! Good-bye! I'm GONE!

The JSEB ad-free
the way it was meant to be.

Last updated September 2, 2002.

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