Roundrobin Cast of Characters
are basically the condensed essence of each person's public image,
or we've just attached certain qualities to them for no discernible
reason whatsoever. We call them "characters" because although they
are based on real people they're really just products of our imaginations.
We don't think these people are actually like this. It's all pure
fiction. Just don't sue us, okay?
here are only those who recur in two or more chapters in the series.
Black, Lewis: Perpetually pissed off. Lewis is there to slap
everyone upside their heads when they're doing or saying anything
stupid. A force to be reckoned with.
Carell, Steve: Skittish and child-like. Clingy. Easily amused
and distracted. He is very attached to Jon and Stephen, but when
Nancy's around he's pretty much arc-welded to her side.
Colbert, Stephen: Portentous and self-involved. Quick with
words. Stops thinking about sex only long enough to make fun of
his friends or tell someone how wrong they are about something.
Gifford, Kathie Lee: The bitchy, evil, puppy-eating villain
of the first Jewey Jewman trilogy.
Kilborn, Craig: Smug and snarky. Originally a character on
"the dark side", though showing signs of decency early on. He has
since crossed over to fighting the good fight. Regarded at best
as kinda cocky and at worst as a total jerk.
O'Brien, Conan: Tends to act on impulse. Conan first appeared
in the third installment. He means well, but generally has no idea
what's going on.
Rocca, Mo: Resourceful. Resident geek. Handy with a computer.
Mo often acts as the voice of reason and logic. Somebody has to.
Stewart, Jon: Our hero. Often insecure and uncertain, but
always comes through when he needs to. And, ya know, all that schmaltzy
crap. Jon is the central focus of the series.
Walls, Nancy: Stevo's long-suffering wife, usually appearing
in relation to him. She has recently become more of a playing character.
A smidge uptight, and aggravated by the fact that she is constantly
surrounded by stupid boys.
Walsh, Matt: Clueless Matt rarely has any grasp on anything
ever. He's around simply because there's power in numbers. He wouldn't
be such a hassle if he didn't have to pee every five seconds.
Weedman, Lauren: Bubbly and eager. Easy-going and fun-loving,
just "one of the guys". Though technically she only appeared in
one chapter, Lauren is included here because of her prominent presence
in the installment.
November 17, 2003.
A half-assed endeavor by Sara J.