Close Encounters of the Non-Jon Kind
 Lewis Black

Name: Kelly
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Encounter dates: October 2002
Event: Standup show
Added: October 26, 2004

At 7:00 pm, as Dad and I pulled into the parking lot of The Funny Bone, it was beginning to drizzle. Getting out of our cars, separate cause we were headed two different directions after the show, we ran to the line which was about 50 deep. The mood was good, the people were chatting, and my Dad was the oldest guy there.

By 7:15 the line was about 150-200 deep and they still weren't letting us in. That's when I happened to look over to my right to see a red car pulling into a parking spot that was miraculously still open despite its proximity to the door of the club. Out stepped a man in a black leather coat from the passenger side. Damned if it wasn't Lewis Black, getting out of a maroon Taurus and not a limo or some such other hoity-toity vehicle.

"That's Lewis Black," several people whispered behind me, but no one said it out loud. He turned to the right, waved, turned to the left, and went into the club.

That's when it hit. That's when the buzz started. I've always been the most alive when something is "live." I don't care what it is, if it's comedy (though this was my first live comedy concert), or music, or a recreational sport such as football. I have extremely picky taste when it comes to music that I listen to of my own accord, but if it's live, I don't care if it's Country, Zydeco (a Cajun style for those of you who don't know), Blues, Rock, Alternative, Acoustic, or two men drumming on plastic buckets with a drunk whino warbling in the background . . . there's just something about "live."

Finally, at 7:30pm sharp we were let in.

I had a vision of the bouncers inside going "It's 7:20 and it's raining, should we let them in? Half the people are soaked . . . ." "Nah, let em get rained on." "HEH! Yeah!"

Dad and I find a table just to the right of the stage where there is miraculously nobody in front of me to block my view. I'm a short girl, and that's a huge plus for me. One inch of hair on a guy sitting in front of me and I can't see jack. It's a pretty intimate setting, only room for about 250 people or less, and it's all crowded, barely an inch to breath. Lewis Black is the biggest this club has ever seen I'm sure, and the people in there know it. It's a bar with a tiny stage up front, about 20 feet by 5 feet with a single chair and a lone mic sitting there, just waiting for someone to pick it up and make the joint come alive.

I'm beginning to jitter now and I am literally hitting my Dad every two minutes going "I'm gonna see Lewis Black! I'm gonna see Lewis Black!"

By the fifth punch Dad whirls on me and says "If you don't f@#$in stop, I swear I'll SMACK YOU!" laughing the whole time.

He hands me a five-dollar bill and tells me to go to the bathroom before the show starts and get myself a coke. So, I get up and wade my way through the myriad of chairs and tables and make it to the bathroom. Then, when I'm done primping in the mirror, cause who knows, he might just see me and fall in love with me.. he does have a propensity for young girls I've heard... and make my way to the bar. The MC has started his shtick, which consists of making fun of many people in the front row. He's quite good. He spots a black man and goes "Hey! The lone brother!" (he was the only black person in the club, that I saw anyway) "Smile so I can see ya!" Which was quite hilarious if you're not offended by that... I wasn't. I'm one of the most Un-PC people.

So I get to the bar and am waiting for the chick-bartender to take my order when I see a leather sleeve resting on the bar to my left. I look over, and lo and behold.... it's Lewis Black. He smiles and I smile and I turn quickly away as the girl comes to take my order. In my head I'm hearing "talk to him talk to him talk to him!" at the same time as I'm hearing "run run run run away!" So finally I get my coke, pay the girl, and give her a dollar tip. I turn away, I start to walk.. and I turn around and face him.

"I'm sorry, not to bother you but.. I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan of yours... That's all I'm gonna say..."

He laughs and he's got a great warm smile. I never noticed that about him, the main reason probably being the only time I've seen him was on the tv when he's ranting and angry, but he's got a wonderfully warm smile. He reaches out and touches me on the arm... let me say that again... he reaches out and touches me on the arm and says "Thank you sweetie, you're not bothering me."

::Giggle, run away::

Finally Lewis is on stage, and from second one he's got us rolling. I've always enjoyed Back in Black, and Lewis' CC Presents was hilarious, but that man is a beautiful comic. He had impeccable timing, he read the room in a heartbeat, he worked the room wonderfully, and he even chuckled a few times himself.

I do believe I gave myself an aneurysm from laughing in the first half of his show, and I'm quite positive the second half was survived only by the vibrations of my laughter keeping me there, anchored. The whole crowd was rolling, except for one guy who was a starch conservative.. and BOY did Lew have fun with that. Even my Dad, who's definitely on the right side of the right found Lew hilarious. Every single joke that Lew told my Dad laughed just as loud as I did. Now that's a comedian... someone who can tell a joke mocking Bush and get my Dad to laugh at it... that's a comedian who's genius.

By the time he was done, 9:30pm, I was almost thankful cause that meant I would be able to catch my breath and be able to go home and get some Advil. And yet, when he said goodnight, thank you, that's all, I felt an immense disappointment. I think that man could have ranted for 24 hours straight and I would have sat through the whole thing, and still wanted more when he was done.

It is now 11:00pm and I've just spent a half hour telling you people about my night, and I don't see myself being able to turn my jitter off anytime soon. Hope it wasn't too long and boring!

I highly, highly, highly recommend seeing Lewis Black if he ever comes anywhere remotely near you.

Compiled by Melly.